Sirius Black's Prank Diary
by CalicoJacky
Summary: A diary from Sunday-Saturday of the pranks the Marauder's pulled. Sirius's point of view
1. Sunday

Hey all... Thanks for reading my other story... hope you like it.. This one just came to my head acouple days ago.. thought I should write it down...  
  
Hey fellow Marauders! Well, I mean Moony, Prongs, and well, Wormtail. I got bored last night at precisely 9:41 pm, and decided to write journal of what particularly nasty, I mean, wonderful, pranks we pulled this week. I'm hoping you'll put in extra effort to help my memory go back so far as Sunday!  
-Padfoot a.k.a. Sirius  
  
Sunday at 12:04 pm, Lunch Hour We set off exactly 24 extra-strength dungbombs in the Charms corridor. I remember this one quite well, seeing as we didn't get caught until Tuesday afternoon.  
  
Sunday at 4:53 pm Mooney used Biting Chess Set to play Prongs. James got bit on the nose, and the pawn would let go until he said 'please'. Interesting game of chess. Moony nearly wet himself, seeing as he was laughing so hard. I got I good laugh out of it as well.  
  
Sunday at 10:03 at Bed Time Me and Moony snuck into the 7th year dorms and put itching powder in the sheets. Moony sneezed and spilled his can of powder on the floor. Mooney did not find this funny, though still cannot see why.  
  
Sunday at 10:15 Spent more time on Marauder's Map. We are planning on adding the Insulting Jinx tomorrow. Added Map of Slytherin common room today... Have you ever been in there? They have really nice leather couches...  
  
Sunday at 10:46 7th years found itching powder.  
  
Please review.. I want to know if im funny.. I don't know if im funny...lol 


	2. Monday

Monday at 7:02am Did some delicate uniform switching. James now has Remus's, Remus has James's, and James has Remus's. You should have seen the looks they were giving me....  
  
Monday at 8:00 am at Breakfast Hour Prongs and I have planned an interesting prank for Potions with the Slytherins. We've picked our prankee with ease. It's Snape.  
  
Monday at 9:00 am, Potions Prank went perfect! James poured too much water in his potion causing a distraction to let me get through the Slytherin cauldrons. I slipped a No- Heat-Wet-Start firework into Snape's cauldron, which caused his cauldron to melt into a pewter mess. No students were harmed in the making of this prank.  
  
Monday at 12:10 at Lunch We put biting teacups in the Slytherin chairs. Very humorous effect. Luicius Malfoy walking around with a flowered pink teacup hanging off of his robes...  
  
Monday at 1:04 at Transfiguration Wormtail accidentally transfigured his desk into a cactus. I don't know how he managed to do this, seeing as we weren't even having a practical lesson. I don't know if this counts as a prank, but it still was pretty amusing.  
  
Monday at 1:56 in hall Major prank! We are charming mangoes to burst into song at exactly 1:57. We magicked them to sing the Hogwarts School song. They're placed at every other classroom door, and bananas are placed at ones that don't have mangoes.  
  
Monday at 2:00 in Detention Professor McGonagoll caught us. Prank went nicely though. Snape actually picked one up; we weren't expecting that! Snape's face turned yellow and he started to sing along with the mango he was holding. By the look on his face, he either couldn't stop singing or was singing against his own will. This is why we got sent to Detention of course!  
  
Monday at Study Time Okay, so you're probably thinking, Study Time? When did we ever study this week? We didn't. Don't worry. I just called it study time because this is when we were supposed to be studying. James pulled out the Marauder's Map and we added the Insulting Jinx. The map glowed fuchsia for about an hour with the phrases, "Mr. Moony declares you are a smelly old dung ball. Mr. Prongs is astonished that a great dingbat like you ever became a professor. Mr. Padfoot has to agree with Messrs. Moony, and Prongs, but has to comment that you better take a shower soon, or flies will soon obscure your vision. Mr. Wormtail comments that your nose is so greasy that I can see my reflection.'  
  
Monday at 10:45 pm at Bed Time James wanted to sneak into the Girl's Dormitories under the Invisibility Cloak. So, naturally, we did. Moony and I had the idea of booby-trapping the whole dorm. We snuck in and we magicked streamers onto the curtain poles. Moony stuck a porcupine in their underwear drawer. Wormtail put a Rash Enhancer in their makeup. I replaced their hand soap with Never-Clean- Always-Dirty Soap in their bathroom. James filled their uniform shoes with maple syrup and honey, smelled pretty nice. Moony wrapped toilet paper around their heads. We can't wait until they wake up in the morning. 


	3. Tuesday

Tuesday at 7:40 am before Breakfast When we first woke up, we stayed silent for 10 minutes until we heard the screaming and shouting. Prongs let a particularly nasty grin go from ear to ear. Remus smirked vilely when he heard a voice that sounded scarily like Lily Evans yell, "JAMES! YOU"RE DEAD!" After this declaration James sunk further into his chair. I thought that this was funny, because Lily beat down on him later.  
  
Tuesday at 8:00 am, Breakfast Hour James never showed up for breakfast, Moony put down a bet that he wouldn't show up for Potions. I took up the bet, naturally, to prove Moony wrong. James missed a devilishly good prank though. Wormtail proved as a good distraction, setting his cloak on fire, making sure that every head in the entire Great Hall was turned toward him. James, Remus and I scampered underneath the Gryffindor Table, all the way up to the back wall. We then transfigured the suits of armor, which were standing in the corner, into bright pink flamingoes. They flapped everywhere, causing chaos, which is what we wanted! Dumbledore, bless his heart, with one wave of his wand, smoothed the whole thing over.  
  
Tuesday at 9:00 am, Potions I am going to murder James. He didn't show up for Potions, making Remus 20 Galleons richer. I'm going to kill Mr. Quidditch. I really am. Anyway, Remus, Wormtail and I got pulled out of class because Dumbledore sent a note down to Professor Michael's class telling us to meet with him in the Library. Here's what the note looked like:  
  
Dear Professor Michael,  
Please allow Messrs Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew to come meet with me in the Library. I wish to speak with them.  
-Professor Dumbledore.  
  
James, who wasn't there, naturally, didn't come. Professor Michael nodded us out of his class. We shrugged and packed up; anything that got us out of Potions with the Slytherins was okay with us.  
  
Tuesday at 10:00 am, in Herbology Turns out that Dumbledore knew it was us who caused the whole flamingo havoc in the Great Hall. We each got assigned 2 weeks of detentions and a 150-point deduction from Gryffindor. That was pretty generous if you ask me. Knowing Professor McGonagall, she would have taken away 250 points and we each would have landed 5 weeks of detentions.  
  
Tuesday at 12:00 pm, at Lunch Hour James finally decided to come to class. He dragged his feet into the Great Hall and plopped down beside me and asked, "What have I missed?" I shook my head and didn't answer. James stared at me, until I finally cracked and filled him in of the mornings events. He laughed and piled potatoes on his plate. I don't know what that boy did all morning, but by the look on his face, he would have rather been in Potions with the Slytherins.  
  
Tuesday at 3:26 pm, at Charms When we first got into the Charms classroom, Professor Flitwick wasn't there, so we huddled together to think of a quick and easy prank. We knew he always used the blackboard, so that was a good spot for a prank. Remus put in that we could pull the old chalk stuck in the eraser trick. Prongs said we could hide his stack of books that he always sits on and replace them with 3 copies of The Monster Book of Monsters. Wormtail shrugged and said he liked Moony's idea. So we stuffed chalk into all the erasers that were sitting near the chalkboard.  
  
Tuesday at 3:40 pm, at Charms Prank pulled right through! It worked magnificently. Now, you're probably thinking, why couldn't Flitwick just waved his wand and magicked the words away. Well, I have to tell you, Flitwick's an amazing guy, but he's not the sharpest tool in the teacher shed. He sometimes he forgets that he's a wizard. Weird if you ask me.  
  
Tuesday at 10:34 pm, In Bed I know what your thinking, 3:40 pm to 10:03? Well, nothing went out of the ordinary the rest of the day, so I felt I didn't need to write anything else down! Waste of good parchment. Or ink. Detention was fun, got to help clean the girl's loos with no magic, just a regular muggle toothbrush. Don't know how the loo got so bloody dirty; it looks like 150,000 muddy Quidditch players tramped through it. We came back to the Common Room smelling lemony fresh. 


	4. Wednesday

Wednesday at 6:20 am, In Bed I am going to kill whoever decided to set off exactly 12 fireworks at 5:00 in the morning. I can't get back to sleep. The fireworks are glowing bright pink and green and are swirling around the dorm. They look like one of Remus's creations, but he's over in his four-poster snoring away. James is sitting bolt right in his bed, grinning at me. Peter is dead asleep; I swear that boy could sleep through 7896 Hippogriffs plus one Hungarian Horntail trampling through the dorm. James has finally cracked and vanished them.  
  
Wednesday at 8:01 am, Breakfast Hour I've started to think that those Fireworks may well be comeback from the girls. It wasn't the best they could do, but hey, it worked! I really wish we didn't have classes today. I'm so bloody tired I think I'm about this close to my head falling into my porridge bowl and getting stuck.  
  
Wednesday at 10:43 am, at Herbology Us Marauders have decided to keep it low today. We have enough detentions as it is. Anyway, the morning classes are cancelled tomorrow. James has a Quidditch match against the Slytherins. This should be a nice friendly, cooperative game, seeing as the Slytherins are out of the running for the Cup if they don't win. Yeah, if this games cooperative, then I'm the Queen of England.  
  
Wednesday at 9:00 pm, in Detention Today on the Detention Channel we are replacing all the floating candles in the Great Hall. Without magic, except for floating them up there. What we do is send the candles down, place them all on the House tables, and sort through them. If they have been burnt out, or the wick is gone, we replace them. Then we have to send them back up to the ceiling to float around. This is a painstakingly long process, seeing as there are thousands of candles up there.  
  
Wednesday at 10:36 pm in Common Room Once we were half-finished in the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall let us go to bed. She said the rest was for tomorrow night. Oh joy, another night of replacing candles. Whooo-hoo! James said if we ever wanted to actually use the Marauder's Map, we need to work on it. So, we spent half and hour smoothing out bugs that we've found. One bug was that when you 'turned it on' so to speak, all it would do was insult you. It called me a berk with the blank mange. How nice.  
  
Wednesday at 10:40 pm In Dorm No more writing for me today! I've worked on Professor Michael's shrinking potion essay that was a pain in the arse. It had to be 2 feet in length and you're writing had to be miniscule. I honestly don't know how the man reads them. I can't even read mine! I'm going to my soft warm bed now. Good Night! 


End file.
